I'm off on holiday today .......

I thought I was being very clever but this didn't work quite as I had hoped. To read what I have written you will need to click on the photo to enlarge it. I'm already wondering what the Fun Monday challenge will be the day after I get back; so Beccy if you think it's something I can do please enter me!

Witty Wednesday # 11

Girlie Wisdom

Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.

One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of
chocolates can make a woman gain 5lbs.

My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.

I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my knickers.

Every 7 minutes of everyday, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!

Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...
"You know, sometimes I forget to eat!" .....Now, I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys. But I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!

A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills...she has 14 kids but doesn't really care.

My body is not all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said "Body, how would you like to go to the six o'clock class of vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said "Listen witch.....do it and die."

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.

I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are - eating too much; impulse buying and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!

Pastors Ass

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in another race, and it won again.

The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.

The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is... being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery... and even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life... Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!

Senility Prayer

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start
exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter
asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your
husband?" "98," she replied. "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?"

I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm
half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Tesco "Tesco?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Tesco?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week ."

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

I'm getting into swing dancing. Not on purpose. Some parts of my body are just prone to swinging.

It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.

These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."

Don't think of it as getting hot flushes. Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.

Don't let aging get you down It's too hard to get back up!

Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing.


THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into
the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

LIVE SIMPLY.....LAUGH OFTEN....LOVE DEEPLY..... and always have fun!!

A Pidgeon came calling!

EmBee and I were out in the yard on Sunday afternoon, don't faint were were actually clearing the one of the cellars (he took several car loads to the tip- I should have taken a photo), and suddenly this pigeon landed in the yard. It had a look in the garage and then came and perched on some boxes. As you will see it was not afraid and it was ringed so obviously used to people. I rushed to get my camera and it posed for some photos, then when I went into the kitchen to make a drink it decided to follow me. It took a walk around my breakfast room, the last photo was taken under the table before it went back outside (I was a bit worried it might leave me a little present!!). I threw out some food but it was not interested and after a few more minutes it flew off. I hope it found it's way home safely!!

PS my darling daughter (beccy) insists I should have said 'it had better not crap on my carpet' but I would never offend my readers with this type of language !!!!!

Fun Monday# 22

We have a little Swampwitch hosting Fun Monday this week and this is the task she set us:

"So, Fun Monday's challenge for today June 25 is to post pictures of your bookshelves or stacks of books. Hopefully, we will be able to read some of the titles. If you want, while you're at it, post pictures of ANY shelves...shelves with toys, dishes, collections, Aunt Gertrude's ashes in an urn, etc. Also, post pictures of your garage, carport, or places where you store 'stuff.' (No cleaning first, but if you must, maybe this will be the motivation to do so.)"

I've cheated for half of this because I posted pictures of my clutter sometime back so although we have tidied up a lot little since then I'll just link to that post so that you can feel very smug because no one will have as much junk and muddle as we do and you may even choose NOT look at the link!!! here

As my little slide show proved popular last week I decided to do the same again. I have not tidied the shelves so you are getting as it was yesterday when I took the photos.

Dining room: The first bookcase mostly contains nursing, social work, health, books. The other unit has a set of encyclopedia , Kipling, travel, books on Bristol, also shelves of nicknacks and pictures. The other small bookcase is full of EmBee's books (and stuff). The recipe shelves have been in a previous Fun Monday post so won't dwell on those. Bookshelves in top bedroom include books not yet read. I have just given you a glimpse into Embee's study (far too full to use) shelves all around. You will see a bookcase of children's books some from when the girls were young plus others I have got for my grandchildren. I have one cupboard full of toys for them and although they have really grown too old for these, they still enjoy creating with stickle bricks and lego. In my sitting room I have an untidy cupboard of games,video and DVD's. Also in that room you will see figurines and paintings done by my grand children, on shelf units either side of the fire.
I'm tempted to watch a little Wimbledon but I think I'll go visiting your shelves instead see you soon!!

PS Now I have posted and viewed the slide show I did it smaller (it looked fine on my screen) but published it is not as clear as I would have liked- no time to change it!!

Few Words Needed

You know you're getting old when you don't realise you've put on odd shoes- and no it's not me!!
I was doing some clearing out last week and found these old belts belonging to the girls- I just wanted them to take a trip down memory lane. Do you remember the little purse belts that I made?? I was ahead of my time -early bum bags!!!!
The bags are about to go to the tip.
However this bag (different colours on each side) I am saving. You never know it might become a collectors item!!! What do you think ? Well you know how some people love their cream eggs and you could get a lot in ths bag!!!
I'm in a rush today as EmBee has agreed to take some rubbish to the tip and he want's me to help sort it!!

Meme -

Sam Chattering On tagged me for this meme

The rules are simple. There are 9 questions (3², each of which has 3 answers, to give a total of 27, or 3³. The whole point is that the questions are somewhere between eclectic, banal and downright bizarre, so that you can answer completely truthfully without actually giving much away. Just put down the first three answers that come to mind if you can’t work out the “most appropriate” three.

Objects Within One Metre Of You

1. Embee sitting at the other computer, blocking my light and trying to read me jokes from Merle's blog while I'm trying to concentrate on this!!
2. My camera just been downloading some pictures and my remote control for the computer (good job I had this to hand as I was able to get a photo for tomorrow's post from my seat).
3. Coffee mug (My secret surprise swap present)

First Names of People You Sat Next To At School

1. Judy and I lost touch when we left secondary school- she went to train as a nanny and her mother and mine were friends so I heard news for a few years. I was hoping she would come to a school reunion we had a fews years back but no one had heard anything of her. I tried Friends United but no luck.
2. Veronica was one of my friends at secondary school, she now lives in The Wirral and although I haven't seen her since the school reunion we write at Christmas and have recently started sending the odd email to catch up.
3. Avril was another friend (we were very nearly expelled but I'd better not go into detail this was one of my supporting a friend and I got into trouble for it), she helped organise the school reunion. I was her bridesmaid and we now only exchange news at Christmas. About four years ago I had to go to the area where she lived and I called at the house. Her husband entertained me until she got home for lunch. Although we only had a short time it was great to catch up.

Programmes You Won’t Watch (I need more than three for this one!!)

1. Sports programmes that show- FOOTBALL, FOOTBALL, FOOTBALL and rugby and cricket, boxing, wrestling I'm sure I could go on and on.......
2. Big Brother- I watched a few of the early ones just to see what all the fuss was about- revolting programme in my humble opinion.
3. Cartoons in general.

Favourite Trivial Pursuit Categories (it's so long since I played I couldn't remember the categories)

1. Entertainment
2. History
3. Art & Literature

Superpowers You’d Like To Have

1. Super sight - So I could see what everyone is doing, fly on the wall stuff !!!! (well maybe not everywhere!!)
2. Super healing- I could do so much good in the world and relief all the suffering.
3. Super time travel- so I could get to see my children and grandchildren more often and no more waiting at airports and getting through customs so much wasted time!!

Newspapers, Magazines or Periodicals Read Regularly

1. Woman's Weekly - My gran used to have this magazine and I've carried on with it. I used to use a lot of the knitting, sewing patterns and recipes when my girls were young. The magazine has changed over the years.
2. People's Friend- embee buys these two for me every week
3. Nursery World- I still get this sent me from when I worked so hope it continues I like to keep abreast of children's education.

Songs You Dislike (difficult one I'll go for artists)

1. Punk stuff like Sex Pistols
2. Eminem
3. Rolling Stones I'll get shot for saying I'm not a huge fan of some of their recodings.

Blog Posts of Your Own That You’d Recommend (I would always recommend Beccy's and Sam's but I will choose others- this will be very difficult because I like so many for a lot of different reasons) I think that my readers will already know these blogs:
1. A Dingo's got my barbie a little bit of everything- well written, amusing, plenty of photos and videos (he's a soft touch for taking in cats and dogs)
2. The Dust Will Wait plenty of variety and some lovely photos.
3. enidd the third person Singular enidd has just moved to San Fransisco and this will give her a lot of new material to keep us amused- always a good read. I am going to squeeze in two more blogs (little miss moi, sally writes. They are always a good read and Little Miss Moi has been off air for 10 days and I just wanted everyone to know she is back.

I am not going to tag anyone in particular but feel free to take the challenge if you get stuck for inspiration.

Greetings from the Dordogne

Yesterday this post card arrived from my grandchildren. It is a cave painting of a horse with a very long tail and Mollie tells me these caves are 1300 years old. I think the card came via snail mail as it was posted ages ago! I am delighted to get the card even if it arrived the day they came home. Yes, Beccy phoned me at 9pm last night to say they were back we only had a quick chat so I am as eager as everyone else to hear about her holiday. Not sure when she will start blogging again but expect it will be soon. Welcome Home and I have missed you all xxx

My Mate........

If you hate marmite I would leave now!!!

If you are a regular reader then you may remember my previous posts about my quest for the limited edition of Guinness marmite which embee finally managed to get for me back in March, while I was in Spain. Two of the jars were dispatched to San Fransisco, one for Sam and the other for Cookiecrumb who had never tried it. I was hoping she would love it and I think her first tastings suggest she is well on the way. Tuesday, Cookiecrumb (thank you for the links) wrote about her marmite experience (drop by and see what she says) and she was asking about recipes. This prompted me write this post as I do have a cookery book but you will see from the photo it is in pristine condition which shows how much I use it!

I only very occasionally use marmite to flavour a dish, much preferring it on toast in a sandwich or with pitta bread, oh and it's wonderful with crisps (chips) but quite a lot of salt so I rarely undulge now. Looking through the recipes in this book it does seem marmite is being used for flavouring. I was quite surprised to to see this book is still available! I had mine back in 1992.

I found another marmite recipe book on Amazon written by Paul Hartley He has also written a Coleman's Mustard book.

Some more recipe ideas here (some are seriously weird Marmite Strawberry/Peanut butter melt yuk- if this had been my first taste of marmite I don't think I would eating it now)
even Gary Rhodes uses marmite!!
and marmite toastie can be found on calorie count.

So Cookiecrumb if you read this just let me know if I need me to bring you another jar or squeezy pot when I next visit Sam!!

Summer Solstice

You are getting two posts today as I could not let the Summer Solstice pass by without a mention and it is the longest day so I'm hoping for a bright day and a beautiful sunset. I might be disappointed as its overcast and showery at the moment. Many Druids will be making the pilgrimage to Stonehenge in Wiltshire to see the sunrise and celebrate.

Witty Wednesday # 10

Wednesdays seem to come around very quickly and once again I hope I can start your day with a smile!

The blonde jokes came to me courtesy of johng at publog so blame him I'm only the messanger!!!

BLONDE LOGIC

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?"

The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????"

CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburettor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.

"Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?

"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"

"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

BLONDE ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"

The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"

The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"

IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names
were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs


This Irish one came via Embee:

A young Irish Lady on a Flight from Ireland to London asked the Priest sitting next to her if he would do her a favour, "Of course, what is it?" he replied.

"Well, it is my Mum's Birthday and I've bought her an Expensive Ladies Hair Drier that is well over my Customs Limit, I am afraid that they will confiscate it, can you take it through the customs for me, stuck under your Robes perhaps?

The Priest replied "I would love to help you but I have to warn you I cannot tell a lie"

She responded "With your honest face and being a Priest, no one will question you"

Upon Arrival at the Customs Hall, she let the Priest go first. Contrary to what she had thought they stopped him and enquired if he had anything to declare.

He answered "From the top of my Head down to my Waist level and down to the Floor I have nothing to declare"

Puzzled by this strange answer the Official asked "And what have you to declare below the waist level and down to the Floor?"

"I have a wonderful instrument much loved and desired by the Female Gender but which up to now has never been used on any woman" replied the Priest.

Roaring with laughter the Official said "Go ahead Father, Next please!"


Whatever you plan to do today I hope it's with a smile on your face :) :) :)

Meme -Eight Random Facts

Wendy over at House of Purpleworms challenged me to this meme ages ago (back at the end of May ) and I ever since I have been racking my brains to think about any weird things that have happened to me that might just keep you reading. I have led a very mundane life really so while I am having a last ponder here are the rules:

The rules:
-Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.

-People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.

-At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

-Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog.

So ignoring the rules I am NOT going to tag anyone so you can relax and just read; however should anyone feel the urge to divulge some facts about themselves please let me know and I will be over to read!!!!


HERE ARE EIGHT RANDOM THINGS ABOUT ME my family and pets (written small you might not realise I'm not folowing the rules):

1 I think a few of my regular reader may have picked up the fact that until a couple of years ago I was a very keen tennis player and I encouraged Sam and Beccy to play when they were children. Sadly Sam, no longer plays, although she was quite good. Beccy plays very regularly and is every bit as competative as me but she is a better looser than I ever was (if I didn't tell you this she would be commenting about it I'm sure- actually that could be a random thing-but I won't count it unless I run out things before I get to eight!). Embee reminded me there was a time when we played six times a week.
One of the tournaments I used to enter was a ' Bristol Parks Tournament'. Although we belonged to tennis clubs, this particular tournament was for non-county players to promote tennis in public parks and we have a lot of these facilities around Bristol. I regularly entered this tournament and was thrilled when I managed to win the ladies doubles in 1985 with Sam and then again the next year, 1986, with Beccy. I had to go and find the dusty trophies to confirm the dates.

2 I love Cornwall and we used to regularly holiday there when the girls were young and we continued this tradition for a few years with my grand children. One of the things we always did was to take our bikes and ride part of the Camel trail. The 17 mile trail (an old railway track) runs through some beautiful countryside and we used to ride it in 3 stages on different days. When the grand children were young, we hired a carriage and then as they got older they had tagalongs but from quite an early age they managed to ride independently. I like to think this helped give my eldest grandson his love of cycling.

3 You will have seen the picture of my dog (Tamsie collie/labrador cross ) in Fun Mon post.
Oh I've just thought of something else so I'm making this two facts. We have a family tradition that all our pets have names beginning with 'T', you have met tortoises Topsy, Tog and Tom and Beccy once had a guinea pig called Timmie, (I think she might have had 2 but will have to leave her to remind me if that's correct and the name).

4 Back to Tamsie, we had her from a puppy and she was always my baby, from the day we brought her home. At the time I was on night duty so decided to sleep on the settee so that she could sleep with me for comfort having left her mum and siblings. As she got older she didn't need this but every single time I sat down she was used to jump up on my knee and as she got bigger and heavier she would curl up behind my legs or keep my feet warm (before you say it I know she shouldn't have been on the furniture but I did not want her upstairs or to leave her crying so I couldn't sleep!)

5 Now another Tamsie story- I'm not sure how old she was when this happened but quite young. I was going out (probably either to work or play tennis) and I had put Embee's meal on the table. He came to the door to see me off (he used to do nice things like that once upon a time) and I expect you've guessed it he was only gone a couple of minutes but Tamsie had climbed onto the chair and eaten his meal. I believe she was given a good spanking- not sure what embee had to eat that evening!!
I could go on telling you amusing stories about Tamsie but I'd better move on; however, before I do I will just say she loved water and was never happier than just lying in water with her legs splayed out, it was quite amusing to watch

6 When I was nursing in the early 60's one of my patients was a little known disc jockey called Tony Prince- I remember at the time I thought he was spinning me a line when he said he was a DJ. He then gave me a signed photo- I was still not impressed and he did not get any preferential treatment. I googled him and found he presented an early pop TV programme called 'Discs-a-gogo' which must have been around the time he was in hospital (if you use this link you will need to scoll down to find the entry) and he's still in the music business. Damn I think I missed out on getting free tickets!!

7 I never had the opportunity of air travel until Beccy went to live in Dublin. This was the first flight I ever took all by myself and I don't particularly like heights. Back in those days they had armed police patrolling Dublin airport and handbags were checked going in and out. Flying has never really worried me even after 9/11, I took my mother to San Fransisco in the November of that year. We both decided that the security would be so good there was no need to worry. I recall the fight was half empty and there were no problems except that my mother's metal knees set off the scan alarm and she was pounced on and was handled a bit roughly as she was searched.
The other incident involving heights that I could NOT cope with was when the girls were young and we were on one of our regular Sunday walks along the Avon Gorge with Tamsie. We decided to climb some rocks and find another shorter way back to the car, what we didn't know was that this would involve jumping across a gap with a huge drop. Embee did it, Tamsie did it and the girls managed it. Wimpy here froze and could not do it. I was practically **** scared so had to climb all the way down (that wasn't easy either) and re-trace my footsteps. This was a hell of a walk I can tell you but my faithful hound jumped back and came with me. When I met up with family they, of course, had found a very quick route back to the car.

8 At school I was always getting into trouble because I would always champion the underdog. If I felt anyone was being unfairly treated I would always chip in my four penneth and this usually got me into trouble. On occasions I even got given detentions because I argued with teachers if I thought someone was being blamed for something they didn't do. I suppose I had a strong sense of justice, but I learnt to my cost it doesn't always pay (cynical maybe but true).

So here endeth my eight random ramblings!!

Fun Monday # 21 What hangs on my wall ?

Our host this week is Molly(mjd) Return of the White Robin Her challenge:

"I am asking that you show us something that hangs on your wall that is fun, interesting, endearing, sentimental, or otherwise enticing. Select the picture of Uncle Horace, Grandma Galt's needlepoint, or little Susie's first finger painting to show the blogging community".

I have a lot of treasures hanging on my wall and I found it difficult to choose just one item as they all have a story and are very special to me. I went around the house taking photos and I have picked out a few things to show you. The picture of my hall shows a collection of mainly blue plates and some are quite old.
The two pictures on the left were picked up at a house sale for a bargain £7 back in the 70's. They are not particularly good paintings and these are not the original frames but my grandfather bid for them on my behalf so they are special.
The three painting on the other wall are my grandchildren, painted by their other granny just after they were born, these are in my keeping for them to have in the future.

The two oblong paintings are views of Constantine beach in Cornwall, where we always went for holidays when the girls were young. The one on the right is my favourite and the artist painted this for an exhibition and was not planning to sell it but we managed to persuade him. I then commissioned the other so that I have a panoramic view which brings back so many memorable holidays.

The picture of the Freesia (my favourite flower) is one of two painted by the mother of a friend of Sam's, Toni Hayden back in 90/91, when I googled her I found this. She also painted the picture of Sam and Beccy which sits above the computer desk.

The picture of Sam when she was nearly three was painted in the West Indies from a photo and the colours are not right. The dress was blue not green and its not the best of portraits but it was the first one I ever had so its special to me.

The print 'Between Two Fires' by the American artist Frank Millet hangs in my mother's room and you can guess why we like this (not sure embee does!!)

The Imari plate is one of a pair the other now belongs to my ex sister-in-law and they came from her aunt. I was given it in the 70's and I don't know how old they are.

The large photo of the dog is hanging on my b'fast room wall and was given to me by the family one birthday back in the 80's. Just look at that face, she was the best companion for 14 years.

The photos of the girls hang in my bedroom and were taken by Sam when she was at college and was experimenting.

The clock hanging on my landing belonged to my grandmother, we do not keep it working as my mother does not like the chimes, pity really as I rather like them. The pictures alongside the clock are some more that I bought at a house sale just to decorate the walls in our previous house so I've had them over 35 years.

Lastly the Anime art was done by my grandson Dillon a couple of years ago just before his 12th birthday (I have posted these pictures before but I make no apologies for this as I think they are very good).

I think I've rambled on for quite long enough and you are probably bored to tears so I will leave you to watch my little picture show.


This nosey parker is looking forward to seeing what hangs on everyone elses walls !!

Father's Day

Embee is quietly about to enjoy his Father's Day gift from Beccy who is currently living it up in France on a three week holiday in the Dordogne. What he doesn't realise is the drama that I had making sure his gift arrived in an edible state.
Let me explain:
Beccy was very organised and she sent a card and a little joke book well in advance and I was keeping this until the appointed day. I have mentioned in the past Embee's love of Cornish pasties and Beccy was delighted when she found that she could order some to be sent from Bodmin in Cornwall. The arrangement was that I would be phoned to agree a deliver day and time. This went according to plan and I agreed that the parcel would be delivered before 12md on Thursday last. So far so good. Now I usually go swimming on a Thursday and as I didn't want to miss a session I left my mother waiting to receive the parcel. I returned home before 12 md surprised that it had not arrived, what I forgot to do was check my telephone messages until an hour later. When I did there was a message from the delivery company TNT asking me to ring as they could not find our address (my mother had heard the phone but she doesn't answer ours). I rang to try and sort it out they tried to tell me they weren't given the correct address and post code and said they probably couldn't manage to get it delivered today. I pointed out this was a food delivery but they said I should get back to the supplier to sort it out- what a surprise!!
What they didn't realise was that they had left the phone line open and I had a recorded conversation the telephone operator had with the delivery driver, plus the message they left me clearly showed they did have the correct address but it had been incorrectly picked up by putting "north' not on the end of the road but on the beginning of the area where we live (sorry if this doesn't make sense).
My next step was to phone the supplier and explain, she said the pasties would be ruined if they did not arrive today and leave it to her. Well to cut a long story short and after numerous telephone calls the pasties arrived just after 2:15pm. I eagerly opened the parcel to find that because of the time delay the pasties, that are sent frozen, were practically all thawed and most looked a mess. The pastry was sticky and the content of some was spilling out, and they were stuck together. I carefully separated them to take photos (actually this slightly improved the look but not a lot as you can see)!!
I knew if I cooked them immediately they could be salvaged but this was not the object of the excercise as it was supposed to be a surprise Father's Day present. I had planned to take Embee to the freezer on the day to give him his present. More phone calls to the supplier resulted in another batch being dispatched for the following day. These arrived at 10am but even so the pastry was thawed on a few, despite the extra ice pack. However the fillings were still frozen so I immediately deposited them in the freezer, oh, and there were a couple of extra ones, which was a thoughtful gesture. I have to say the supplier took full responsibility and this was refreshing as one often has to battle for customer services. I decided not to name the company because I didn't really want to give them any bad publicity.
Are you wondering what I did with the first batch of pasties? I hate to waste food so I cooked them and presented Embee with one for his tea and of course once cooked I could refreeze. So in the end we did rather well out of it.... the moral I think is not to order in the summer when the weather conditions make if difficult to send frozen food.

Embee has already been chuckling away as he reads 'Dublin Wit' so I expect I will find a lot of material for my Witty Wednesdays from this book!!


I hope fathers everywhere have a very Happy Day- you can always do the washing up tomorrow!!!

What kind of wine are you??

I have been over on the Blogthings Quiz site looking for some new quizzes for you to try. So take your pick.

What kind of wine are you?
Embee laughed at the 'dependable and modest' 'understated and polite' he has hurt my feelings but he's right on one thing Champagne or Chardonnay ?? there's no contest !!

You Are Chardonnay

Fresh, spirited, and classic - you have many facets to your personality. You can be sweet and light. Or deep and complex. You have a little bit of something to offer everyone... no wonder you're so popular. Approachable and never smug, you are easy to get to know (and love!). Deep down you are: Dependable and modest Your partying style: Understated and polite Your company is enjoyed best with: Cold or wild meat

What Kind of Wine Are You?

Do you fight fair ?
Of course I fight fair- I know there are two sides to every argument but please tell that to embee and tell him I usually am right !!!

You Mostly Fight Fair

When you fight, you tend to remember your end goal of resolving conflict. However, you can get a little too wrapped up in your own feelings. Remember that there are two sides to every argument. And even if you think you're totally right, you should take more time to hear your partner out.

Do You Fight Fair?

What kind of cook are you?
I can dream because they got this one wrong!!

You Are an Excellent Cook

You're a top cook, but you weren't born that way. It's taken a lot of practice, a lot of experimenting, and a lot of learning. It's likely that you have what it takes to be a top chef, should you have the desire...

Are You A Good Cook?

What kind of drinking woman are you?
I'll leave others to judge this one!!!

You Are a Red Wine Woman

You're not a big drinker, and when you do drink, you go for the best. You probably know a good deal about wines, and you know how to order a great bottle. When you drink too much, you tend to flirt - but only in a subtle, understated way. You prefer to date a man who's worldly and wise. He's got to be as sophisticated as you are.

What Kind of Drinking Woman Are You?

What your hands say about you
Some of this could be true!!

What Your Hands Say About You

You are logical, analytical, and rational. You have good verbal skills. Flexible and broad minded, you can fit in to any situation. There's no telling where your life will take you. Consistent and reliable, you like to count on structure and routine in your life. Your emotions tend to be nervous and potent. Your energy - both positive and negative - deeply impacts your life.

What Do Your Hands Say About You?

What kind of chocolate are you?
I've done this one before and I am NOT a white chocolate person

You are White Chocolate

You are White Chocolate You are sweet, caring, and truly very innocent. Whether your naive ways are a bit of act or not, people like to take care of you. You are a quiet flirt, and your power is often underestimated!

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

What kind of a blogger are you?
Well my blog was intended to be a delve into my life- I just wish I could improve my writing style to make it more amusing and entertaining!

You Are a Life Blogger!

Your blog is the story of your life - a living diary. If it happens, you blog it. And make it as entertaining as possible.

What Kind of Blogger Are You?

Whats your celtic horoscope?
No comment!!

You Are A Cypress Tree

You are strong, adaptable, and striving to be content. You're good at taking what life has to give - even if you don't like it. A passionate lover who can't be satisfied, you are quick tempered at times. You hate loneliness, want love and affection, and need to be needed. A bit of a live wire, you love to gain knowledge any cost... and you can be careless at times.

What's Your Celtic Horoscope?

If you decide to try any of these have fun and let me know how you get on.

PS Embee had a postcard from Ben today saying he had visited caves so Beccy if you read this please say thank you to him.

Well I never!!!

I am rather late posting today. Although I was on line this morning booking, my annual holiday insuarance, amongst other things, I purposely didn't want to be sidetracked by blogging. So I was very strict with myself (I tell you it was difficult), only reading and answering my comments. I knew full well if started read blogs and writing then nothing else would be done. Friday afternoon is one of my swimming times and as it was raining, for a brief moment I waivered about going but I'm glad that I did. There were very few people swimming and I poddled up and down for about forty five minutes and came away feeling very refreshed. When I got home I made a cup of coffee to go with the last piece of fruit loaf that was saying 'eat me' (I'm weak - swimming makes you hungry- and yes I do feel guilty) I then sat down at the computer to write a post; as soon as I had logged in the first email to pop into my google notifier was from the author of Turtles all the way down letting me know she had linked to my entry, yesterday, about Tog laying eggs. I was fine about this but also curious so I went over to look at her site and saw a few interesting posts about tortoises. I was then intrigued how she had found the post, so I e-mailed her to find out. Apparently she subscribed to "Google news Alerts' and she gets any reptile/amphibian/chelonian news links delivered to her e-mail everyday and additionally blog items are also sent and my video from yesterday's blog entry showed up.

So wowee I've made it to Google News Alerts- fame at last even if I am the last entry!!!!!!!!

Jen sent me a copy of all the other stories so I though I would share them with you: (HOWEVER, YOU WILL SEE THAT FEW OF THESE STORIES RELATE TO MY KIND OF 'TORTOISES'. HOWEVER IF YOU SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM (that's me!) BUT ONE [Killer Tortoise] THERE IS A LOVELY LITTLE VIDEO WHICH IS WELL WORTH A PLAY AND WILL SHOW YOU JUST HOW FAST TORTOISES CAN BE - LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK OF IT !

Google News Alert for: tortoise

Galápagos survivors, up close and personal
Georgia Straight - Vancouver,British Columbia,Canada
This giant tortoise is slow enough for the author to capture his
encounter with a tripod and timer. Kevin Revolinski photo. A heron
stands just behind me on ...
See all stories on this topic (THERE IS NO LINK TO THIS ONE WHICH MIGHT HAVE BEEN INTERESTING)

Tortoise Kick Off Tour (THESE ARE NOT FOUR LEGGED TORTOISES- I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF THIS GROUP)
Pitchforkmedia.com - Chicago,IL,USA
The humans in Tortoise kick off their previously reported North
American tour tonight (June 14) in Columbus, Ohio, and no way are they
stopping this car ...
See all stories on this topic

Developers Must Move Tortoises
Chipley Bugle - Chipley,FL,USA
Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission (FWC) commissioners
have approved a policy that puts an end to gopher tortoise entombment
and requires ...
See all stories on this topic

Hare and tortoise musical
Kansas City Star - MO,USA
Here's the furry cast of "The Hare and the Tortoise Musical," which
opened Tuesday and will run through July 7 at the H&R Block City Stage
at Union Station, ...
See all stories on this topic

Google Blogs Alert for: tortoise

Tortoise Begin Tour In Ohio Today
By Parker Reynolds
Last time we talked to Tortoise they pretended they didn't know who
Daniel Lanois was despite booking a future tour with him. Tortoise
kick off their another tour tonight, June 14th in Colombus, Ohio, and
are bringing a truckload of ...
Parker Reynolds's MOG Posts - http://mog.com/Parker_Reynolds

TORTOISE CAPITAL RESOURCES CORP (form 8-K) (ONLY ABOUT FINANCE BORING)
TORTOISE CAPITAL RESOURCES CORP Files SEC form 8-K, Current report filing.
EDGAR Online Current Event Filings - http://www.edgar-online.com/

Slow and steady, like a tortoise. Never give up ...
By Hito^Keat(Hito^Keat)
Slow and steady, like a tortoise. Never give up and ... why want to
rush? Chill ! Time to sleep. Good Night! =)
Pan Production - http://nick-pan.blogspot.com/

Killer tortoise!
By gemmak(gemmak)
I can't decide if this tortoise is brave or utterly stupid but either
way it appears to have the upper hand! Heh.
gemmak's BLOGS - videohere

A Tortoise Tale!
By ChrisB(ChrisB)
For those of you who read my bog regularly you will recall I have
written about my tortoises very regularly. I have also told you what a
'casanova' Tom is and how is aim in life is to have his wicked way
with the two females. ...
Ms Cellania - here

A Tortoise Tale!

For those of you who read my bog regularly you will recall I have written about my tortoises very regularly. I have also told you what a 'casanova' Tom is and how is aim in life is to have his wicked way with the two females. His preference recently has been the youngest 'Tog' and she is sometimes receptive to his advances but more often than not she spends her time running away from him, hiding under the ramp to their house. I have returned home a couple of times recently to find Tom on his back waving his legs in the air unable to turn himself over. Knowing it was his own fault for being a bit amourous and eager (well a girl likes to be wooed) I was tempted to leave him- no I wouldn't be that cruel- would I!!
I guessed that Tog was carrying eggs as for the last week she has been trying to dig holes all around the lawn to find a suitable spot to deposit them. I arrived home this morning to see she had found the ideal spot and was actually in the process of laying her eggs. I rushed in the house to grab my camera, which has a movie facility and took this little bit of film. It's not terribly good (I use it so rarely that I forgot to give a commentary and no chance of a re-run!!) but for those who have little knowledge of tortoises you might be interested and it's a good nature lesson for children. The eggs will not hatch because the conditions in this country are not right. I have in the past tried to incubate without success as I do not have the right equipment which is quite expensive to buy. You will probably recall how much the vet bill cost for Topsy earlier this year. Of course if I could have hatched them, the sale would more than cover the vet bill!! In case you are wondering I think there were 7 eggs.

Just in case anyone is remotely interested in past post that include the tortoises:
weigh in
visit to the country
on a clear day

Witty Wednesday # 9

The Frog:

A guy is 71 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up."

He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, "Pick me up."

He looked in the water and there floating on the top, was a frog. The man said, "Are you talking to me?"

The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up. Then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because you will have me as your bride."

The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.

Then the frog said, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride."

He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."

Satan:

A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation was sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.

Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.

So Satan walked up to the man and said, "Do you know who I am?"

The man replied, "Yep, sure do,"

"Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked.

"Nope, sure ain't." said the man.

"Don't you realize I can kill you with one word?" asked Satan.*

"Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man, in an even tone.*

"Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all eternity?" persisted Satan.

Yep," was the calm reply.

And you're still not afraid?" asked Satan.

"Nope," said the old man.

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"

The man calmly replied, "Being married to your sister for 48 years kinda made me imune to fear."

I think these came via embee- I wonder is he trying to tell me something!!!!

LOVE A DRUNK .

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband. "It is 3 o'clock in the morning." He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife. "Just some drunk guy asking for a push!"
"Did you help him?" she asks. "No. I did not. It is 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring rain outside!"
His wife said, "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? You should be ashamed of yourself!"
The man reluctantly gets dressed and goes out into the pouring rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello. Are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes! Please!" comes the reply from the darkness.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.

"Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk"

Thank you johng for this one.

Hope this puts a :) on your face to start the day.

Fruit Bread

My mother wanted some cake to give her friend and I didn't have time to make anything but I remembered that I had a fruit loaf in the freezer. Although it had been in there for simply ages I knew that it would be a lot more moist than when fresh cooked. I tend to make these in batches of three as I happen to have this number of tins and it's better use of the oven. So if you like dried fruit and are looking for an easy recipe that freezes well (in my opinion freezing actually improves the texture) then I would recommend you give this a try.
The recipe comes from this little book which I have written about in the past; if you are interested in finding out more about the book and a lemon cake recipe look here.
Once thawed this is what the fruit bread looks like, it is meant to be buttered but I actually like it as it comes.

The recipe is written in cups, Sam has written some imperial measures alongside but that is far too much sugar. I have always used an ordinary half pint coffee mug and this works fine. It's fairly quick to put a cup of sugar, All Bran and fruit into a bowl then heat up a mug of milk in the microwave and pour over. You can then get on with something else for a couple of hours, then stir in your cup of flour and bake. I would start checking at 45mins as cooking time does vary depending on your cooker.
I have never had one that was a failure and this was very popular with members of my tennis club when I used to make the tea.

Fun Monday# 20 My kitchen

Joy at A Spot of T our host for today asked us to show our kitchens. If you head over there you will see the list of participants.

I have never really liked my kitchen and although it was the first room in the house to be renovated, that's now almost 21 years ago and so it is very dated. It was originally a small dingy room with orange formica units and there was a sliding door across the end of the kitchen which revealed a pink bathroom and you'll be horified when I tell this was a 'guest house' how they ever managed to pass health checks or to cook in it beats me. We knocked out the bathroom to give more space but I was still left with a galley style kitchen which does not have a lot of counter space and is cramped if more than two people try and work in there. It is also very difficult to photograph!
The kitchen faces North so its very cold and never gets any sun and this is the view.
You may have noticed the scales sitting on the unit, I don't use these often because Sam bought me new electronic scales. Tucked into this corner alongside my hob I keep storage jars, grinder and a bread maker (amongst other things).
Just out of view in the main picture I have all my cookery books at the last count I had over 80 and as you can see my more recent ones are just tucked alongside the microwave, which is even older than the kitchen, and could not be fitted into a unit. (No I would not part with it old and ugly as it may be it's very reliable). I really need to sort out the cookery books and get rid of some -oh but this is soo hard to do as many of them hold memories of the girls cooking as kids.
On top of the cupboards I display my stone jars- well not exactly display because you cannot really see them and all they do is gather dust but I like them and I get up there a couple of times a year and thoroughly clean it all- and this has reminded me it's due a clean anytime now. This stone hot waterbottle is a relic of my childhood. No central heating then and my mother used to wrap this in an old pillowcase to stop it burning my feet. I'm showing the oil jar because it really belongs to Sam and she left it here when she moved to San Fransisco so this is just to show her it's still here.
This is one of four majolica tiles depicting the seasons that I have decorating the walls (more examples of decorative tiles can be found here). This last view is of the breakfast room which leads off the kitchen and is where you would have to sit while I prepare the coffee and cakes!!
I'm looking forward to visiting everyone else for coffee so see you soon.

Leisurely Sunday!

I don't have a lot to share today but I did enjoy my breakfast sitting on the little balcony outside my back door whilst reading the Sunday paper. I was trying to ignore the fact that the house looks a mess, my mother produced a bag of laundry to be done (it always amazes me how one day she has nothing and two days later there is a bag full), a huge basket of ironing was beckoning me everytime I walk through the breakfast room and I still haven't taken my Fun Monday photos but it will all get done before the day is done. Hope you are all enjoying your day of rest!

Whose your inner European and others just for fun

As I don't have much time today this is my quick cheating post borrowed from other bloggers. I have to show my kitchen on Fun Monday post and it might just need a bit lot of tidying up before I can take a photo! So I'll leave you to have a play with these have fun!

Your Inner European is French!

Smart and sophisticated. You have the best of everything - at least, *you* think so.

Who's Your Inner European?

What Your Favorite Color Purple Says About You:

Intuitive --- Seeking --- Creative Kind --- Self-Sacrificing --- Growth Oriented Strong --- Very Wise --- Rare

What Does Your Favorite Color Say About You?

What Your Favorite Color Blue Says About You:

Emotional --- Affected --- Sensitive Peaceful --- Tranquil --- Connected Spiritual --- Experimental --- Deep

What Does Your Favorite Color Say About You?

Your Heart Is Green

Love completes you, but that doesn't mean you seek it out. When love comes your way, you integrate it peacefully into the rest of you life. Your flirting style: Laid back Your lucky first date: Walking around aimlessly and talking Your dream lover: Is both enthusiastic and calm What you bring to relationships: Balance

What Color Heart Do You Have?

Your Musical Tastes Match: Nicole Kidman

See her whole playlist here (iTunes required)

What Celebrity Matches Your Taste in Music?

Your Love Life is Like Casablanca

"Kiss me. Kiss me as if it were the last time." For you, love is never finished. If you've loved someone once, you'll always love them. You're an old fashioned romantic... even if your relationships don't end up as romantic as you'd like. Your love style: Traditional and understated Your Hollywood Ending Will Be: Complicated and ambiguous

What Movie Is Your Love Life Like?

You Are Kermit

Hi, ho! Lovable and friendly, you get along well with everyone you know. You're a big thinker, and sometimes you over think life's problems. Don't worry - everyone know's it's not easy being green. Just remember, time's fun when you're having flies!

The Muppet Personality Test

I've always wanted to visit Paris but moi 'smart sophisticated' I don't think sooo
Colours -had to have a couple of tries- if only these were true!!
My heart - well I'm a bit too old to flirt now but 20 years ago now that would be telling!!
As I wasn't able to see Nicole Kidmans musical tates I don't know if mine are the same or not!
Cassablanca is a classic and I remember enjoying it many years ago but as to my 'lovelife'- this is where the story ends....
My muppet personality well Kermit is very cute and that could just be me!

Creme de Framboise-Update

....... and the verdict is.....
hic isn't it supposed to cure the hiccups! I did add a little to my second glass of champagne but then tried a little more neat. Although I was really keen to try this I have to say I'm not usually that keen on liqueurs. This is a very sweet liqueur and very creamy but it slipped down quite easily enough and I think it might grow on me. Embee was all for opening the other bottle to sample but I decided we would save that for anotheeer daay!! I'm feeling quite relaxed now so goodnight all see you tomorrow. As I'm writing this embee is taking our stash to the cellar.