Friday, February 29, 2008

Henleaze Lodge ... Bristol History # 1

This is the only private thatched house in Bristol and I took this photo a couple of weeks ago. The house was built around 1820 and was formerly a lodge to Henleaze Park. The picture below is as it looked originally. The gate on the right is the entrance to Henleaze Park which was the residence of Samuel and Walter Derham, it later became St Margaret's school and was demolished in 1962.
Below is the house being re-thatched but I'm not sure of the date.
Second two pictures I photographed from Reece Winston's Books 'Bristol as it was'.

Here ends my first Bristol history lesson. Actually that's not strictly true as I have, in the past, mentioned a few places of interest in and around Bristol. I can think of a few more interesting places that I would like to share with you unless you give me the thumbs down!!...even then I may still run with it periodically!

On this Leap Year I just want to wish Barbara and Bryan a very Happy Anniversary. I know they are having a very special day.

2007: No Archive

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Thursday, February 28, 2008

Tortoises Awaken......

Back in November my three tortoises went into hibernation. As soon as the weather became milder and daytime temperatures rose I began to hear rustling and knew they were beginning to stir. This is slightly earlier than usual, they cannot go outside at this time of the year because the nights are still too cold and the important thing is for them to warm up slowly and begin to start eating. It is always difficult to kick start them into eating, which can be quite dangerous for them as they do not have much reserve left after their long sleep.
One way is to give them warm baths which they need anyway and I then apply a little olive oil to their shells.
Topsy, one of the females, is the one I have been having problems with for the past three years as she has woken up with mouth rot. So far this year I have not been able to get her mouth open so I don't yet know if it's going to be another trip to the vet. Remember last year when I nearly had to take out a mortgage to pay the vet bill!

The next problem I had was how to look after them indoors until it is warm enough to put them outside. I suggested to embee that he made them a pen, which he did earlier in the week~ see below as he beavered away when he came home from work.
The next issue was where to put it, the room that gets the sun is of course the sitting room at the front of the house. I can hear you all gasping who, in their right mind, would want animals in their sitting room~ well I know a lot of you have your dogs, cats, birds etc so why not tortoises. They do not smell and provided you keep the pen clean (I line the pen with newspaper) it's not a problem.
Before the pen was ready they were in individual boxes and seemed most unhappy trying to get out. Now they are all together they seem a lot more settled and they have more space to move around. Tom and Tog have both cleared their system and tog has eaten some apple so I am happy with them. Topsy is still pretty lethargic!
As the sun came out this morning they all moved to a spot where they could sunbathe so hopefully this will help Topsy. Let me know if you are interested and I will keep you updated!

P.S. All the photos will enlarge.

2007: Happy IVGLDSW Day

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Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Witty Wednesday # 39

I have to thank lil mouse for sending me this:

My Cajun friend had 3 good arguments that Jesus was a Cajun:

1. He liked to serve fish to his friends.

2. He could make his own wine.

3. He wasn't afraid of water.

My Black friend had 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:

1. He called everyone 'brother.'

2. He liked Gospel.

3. He couldn't get a fair trial.

My Italian friend gave his 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:

1. He talked with his hands.

2. He had wine with every meal.

3. He used olive oil.

My California friend also had 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:

1. He had a beard.

2. He walked around barefoot all the time.

3. He started a new religion.

My Irish friend then gave his 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:

1. He never got married.

2. He was always telling stories.

3. He loved green pastures.

But, my women friends have the most compelling evidence that Jesus, though NOT a woman, certainly could relate to women:

1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.

2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.

3. And, even when he was dead, he had to get up because there was more work to do.

My friend Suzanne contributed this:

Winter Classes for Men at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

by Monday, Jan 28, 2008


Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Plac es And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum .
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing .
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14

The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
From embee:


1. Put on your glasses. Double check that your partner is actually in bed with you.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. Turn them ALL OFF!

Make sure you put 999 (or local emergency number) on your speed dial before you begin.

5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember it.

6. Keep extra polygrip close by so your teeth don't end up under the bed or between the thighs.

Have Tylenol (superior strength aspirin) ready in case you actually complete the act.

8. Make all the noise you want. The
neighbours are deaf too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news.

10. Don't even think about trying it twice.

(Notice: the large type so you could read it.)

All you youngsters who are laughing remember your time will come!!!! :)

2007: Internet Marketing


Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Manresa Los Gatos

Sam was hooked on dining at Manresa from her very first visit.
So when I visited her last year, dining at this prestigious restaurant was high on the agenda and I was eagerly awaiting the experience....
The entrance to the restaurant is unassuming but I rather like the sign! Although we didn't really see it in the dark I believe they have a herb garden behind the restaurant.
I borrowed the photo below from the restaurant web site, as it happened to show the table where we were seated (I didn't take any photos inside).

Sam knows David Kinch, the chef, and we were very well looked after, by that I mean we were greeted with champagne and it kept flowing~ so how could I not be happy as this is my favourite tipple!

We had booked the tasting menu which is 18 courses.......I'm showing you the menu above (written over by Sam to indicate variations) but again no food photos so it will be difficult for you to get a mental picture of the dishes and I'm useless at describing food, unlike my dear daughter who does it so eloquently (maybe I should have asked Sam to guest blog!). What can I say~ it was wonderful, I was given a taste of so many superb foods, cooked and presented so beautifully.
All the organic vegetables come from 'Love Apple Farm' and are grown specifically for Manresa. 'Into the vegetable garden', one of the courses, was a delicious combination of seasonal vegetables (potato, cauliflower, sliced beet, carrot, radish). Now have you ever tried Abalone I must confess I was a little apprehensive but I really enjoyed it. We had lots of fish (in my comments on yesterday's Fun Monday posts I said several times that I didn't like sashimi but I did enjoy it on this occasion). I now like fois gras (I only, recently, got introduced to this controversial food so I was pleased to try it again). I really liked the Arpege farm egg (soft boiled with sherry, cream and maple syrup~ may sound an unlikely combination but take my word~ it was delicious). Another hit was the beef roasted, black trumpets, and chestnut with horseradish (looked like teeny pies with the horseradish inside). I could go on and on but I don't want you to get bored!!

I will, however, just mention the desserts 'fig porridge' with potimarron(squash), ice cream and milk mousse; meyer lemon cream, almonds mascapone mousse and chicory ice cream; chocolate mouse with salted butter ice cream, bourbon and peanuts; finally chestnut ice cream, milk chocolate mousse, mandarin sorbet, with crunchy chocolate biscuits. I got to try all of these as well as petit fours!

David came out to chat to us and I would really have liked to have had my photo taken with him but it would not have been the done thing!

Sam asked me to do a one line review on all the restaurants I visited in and around San Francisco and this is what I said about Manresa......"I never thought I would manage 18 courses! A wonderful variety of tastes and textures and a wonderful dining experience all-round, particularly when you get to meet the chef".

In case you are wondering I did not feel stuffed as I imagined I would, maybe that is because the meal was served very leisurely. I couldn't believe we were there for about five hours, the evening passed very quickly and it was fun anticipating what would be the next delight to be put before us!! So I think you can safely say I enjoyed my visit to Manresa, I hope it won't be my last!
When we were walking back to the car we saw this amazing view of the moon. My photo does not convey the beauty of the phenomenon we saw. I cannot remember what it is called but Fred had seen it before. I don't know if you will be able to see that the moon was completely encircled by another ring (it was much brighter than the photo shows). I'm sure there will be someone out there who can tell me what it is called!!

2007: Fun Monday 6

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Monday, February 25, 2008

Fun Monday # 55 What's in a name!!

Mariposa is asking TWO things of us this week:
  • To share how we named our blog!
  • To share our favorite/ most common dish!
The first task is not difficult. I started my blog to write about what has been happening in my life so that my girls (Sam and Beccy) could read about home and keep in touch. Therefore when I was thinking of blog names my initial thought was.... it's going to be about nothing in particular just 'bits and pieces'. Sam immediately dismissed that one....and I always listen to my children!!!! I mulled it over with embee who suggested 'miscellaneous' but it was my daughter Sam who then suggested it should be presented as 'Ms Cellania'..... so very clever (why couldn't I think of that!). Then when my grandson Dillon (13 at the time) left me a really funny comment I knew it was perfect!!
The second task is much more difficult because I have so many dishes that I really like or cook very regularly, therefore it's difficult to choose just one dish..... SO I'm leaving you with a picture of a British favourite~ this was home made if bought the fish would be in batter... oh and for the record I do not like 'mushy peas' but embee does!

The other traditional British dish that I love is 'Roast Beef and Yorkshire Pudding' so I'm just leaving links to past posts in case you want to take a peep!
Roast Beef
Home made Fish and Chips

I'm off to do some visiting so see you soon!

2007: No Archive

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Sunday, February 24, 2008


Looking back to the 80's.

2007: Requiem for an old friend

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Saturday, February 23, 2008

Glamorous Great-Gran

You might recall that my mother is no longer able to venture very far and for the last few months I have been cutting her hair. Although this has been fairly successful, my mother still misses going to have her hair professionally styled. I was wondering what to give her as a treat for Mothering Sunday (don't worry, you haven't forgotten I know it's a week away) and in a flash I knew if I could get her an appointment with my hairdresser she would be delighted. Sarah was so helpful and although she is always busy she managed to fit in an appointment yesterday afternoon. My mother had a relaxing head massage, she got her hair properly styled and she had tea and biscuits. What more could she we drove home she said....."perhaps I could come every time you go"!!!!!!......

2007: Signs of Spring

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Friday, February 22, 2008

Mango Bread

LiveSTRONG 2008 is on May 13th and the food and wine blogging community will again be supporting the day through an event called 'A taste of Yellow' more information can be found here over at my friend, Barbara's (winiosandfoodies).
A few days ago Barbara posted about Kats Mango Bread and it looked so good I decided to give it a try. Barbara was sensible and halved the mixture, I decided to make the full quantity so that I could freeze one. You will see the recipe is in 'cups' and I'm always a bit dubious when I cook this way. I put the mixture into two tins, but in hindsight I should actually have made that three, because it rose too much and one spilled over. I admit I realised this as I was putting the mixture in the pans but got a bit lazy.
Anyway the bread which really tastes more like a cake is, in my opinion, absolutely delicious.


4c flour
4 tsp baking soda
4 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp salt
2 tsp vanilla
3 c sugar
1 1/2 c oil
6 eggs
1 c nuts chopped
1 c raisins
4 c mangoes, diced

Place all ingredients in a bowl and mix well.
Let stand for 20 minutes
Pour into lined baking loaf pans
Bake at 350F (180C) for 45-60 minutes (time depends on size of pans)

Oh one more thing when I supported the Livestrong event last year I made lemon curd and I'm wondering what to make this year. It has to be yellow~ I have a couple of ideas but if you have any suggestions, please let me know???

2007: Whose got brownie points

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Thursday, February 21, 2008

Reminder to self........ make contingency plans!
Yesterday I had planned to go for a country walk along the banks of the River Severn with a friend and then have lunch in a country pub. I was intending to take my camera and take lots of photos to use for today's post. I was really looking forward to getting some, exercise and fresh air. I have been like a recluse for weeks, only stepping outside the house for mundane things like shopping and my twice weekly swim. However, there was no Wednesday swimming session this week because the pool is used for a family fun day during the school holiday. Hence the planned walk! Unfortunately, it was a bit foggy yesterday and my friend, rightly, thought it might be worse by the river so we postponed the idea~ therefore bang goes my post!! The photo above is what I would have hoped to see!! Of course sensible, organised bloggers would have a back up draft waiting to fill the gap~ not this one!

Now one thing I would ask of all my kind readers, is that you take a minute to go over and welcome Kinta to the world of blogging. Kinta has recently moved to live with her mum, who is also a fairly new blogger. I'm sure she would be delight to have you drop in!

2007: The wanderer returns home

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Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Witty Wednesday # 38

These are my three new magnets!!!

My friend Barbara sent me these amusing one liners!


  • I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
  • Police were called to a day care where a 3-yr-old was resisting a rest.
  • Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
  • The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
  • The butcher backed up into the meat grinder & got a little behind in his work.
  • To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
  • When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
  • The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
  • A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.
  • A thief fell & broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
  • When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
  • The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
  • A dentist & a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
  • A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
  • A will is a dead giveaway.
  • Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
  • A backward poet writes inverse.
  • In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
  • A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
  • If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
  • Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft & I'll show you A-flat miner.
  • The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
  • A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
  • You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
  • A calendar's days are numbered.
  • A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
  • A boiled egg is hard to beat.
  • He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
  • Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
  • When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
  • When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
  • Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
  • Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
  • Acupuncture: a jab well done.
Whatever you are doing today keep smiling :) :)
2007: Organic Lunch at Marc Michelle's


Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Rocking Grandmas

Some of you who read my blog regularly might remember this Witty Wednesday post, when I had a bit of fun with the pictures! Just after this Laurie gave me an award and Pamela commented......

"I see that award/button has a blog address on it.
Hey - we ought to invent a new blog button with OUR addresses on it. You could use that motorcycle grandmas you photoshopped! hee haw!"

Little did Pamela know that I had been pondering for ages about making my own button. However me being me, I didn't have an original idea in my head! Eureka, Pamela didn't realise it but she had just given me the perfect idea!
I have never seen a button just for 'grandmas'! I am still pretty useless with my photoshop but I had a little play around. What I came up with looked reasonable when it was large but it was hopeless when I made it smaller. So in the end I had to enlist a little help, from an expert and the final result is below..............
Now I'm quite sure hope all the grandmas out there are going to covet this award!! and I am going to start the ball rolling by giving this to 5 Rocking Grandmas.


You may pass it on provided you link to this post. Thank You. I am sure Pamela will be giving out some awards soon!!
2007: Fun Monday-Precious Objects

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Monday, February 18, 2008

Fun Monday # 54 Nothing to laugh about!

Sayre has kindly set this week's assignment she says..................

"Every day as I go to work, I see things around me that make me laugh. Usually these are in the forms of signs. So take your camera with you as you go about your business and take a picture of the things that make you laugh along the way (but it doesn't necessarily HAVE to be a sign)".

I took my camera everywhere last week but do you think I saw anything remotely entertaining... zilch!! So come Sunday I was getting desperate and because I couldn't find anything really amusing.....I decided to go with an unusual street name! Embee got roped into driving me to photograph this..... the original sign used to like this....... It is a quiet lane and we walked down to see the rear of some quite large houses that back onto the lane............. no nothing funny!

So let me tell you the reason for this name...............Pitch and Pay Lane might sound a cheerful name reminiscent of children’s games, and fun. . . but it's true story would not have been funny to the people who lived in the area back then!!

The lane was once a little country road centuries before this part of Bristol was developed by rich Victorians.

The odd name recalls dark days when the old city of Bristol was often struck by plagues and epidemics. The City Docks were notoriously filthy and contagious diseases were rife for those living beside what was nothing less than an open sewer.

Bristol’s reputation for disease was so bad that country folk living around the town were always worried about dangers to their health. Whenever a new outbreak occurred, Gloucestershire farmers and smallholders refused to come near the place. They were only prepared to sell their produce at a safe distance from the unhealthy Bristol folk.

So, at this pre-arranged spot, they developed the practice of pitching their produce at the waiting, hungry Bristolians. . . while the citizens paid by throwing back the necessary cash. It was an early example of the quarantine principle - pitching, paying and preventing the spread of disease. Ha , I guess they didn't realise that germs would very likely be passed across on the money!!

One thing I did see when I was out was this notice, written in Polish.......... the literal translation, according to my google search is 'rooms until hire' which I found mildly amusing as we would say 'rooms to let'~ maybe that's why the place looked empty!!!

Sorry I couldn't follow the rules on this one, I bet tomorrow I will see something that would be a lot more entertaining!

2007: Sugar Loaf


Sunday, February 17, 2008

Beachbums !!

When you have nothing much to talk about what do you do! Go down memory lane and post a photo from 2003.

2007: No Archive

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Saturday, February 16, 2008

Honey and Carrot Cake (and an award!)

Last year I tried out a recipe for low-fat carrot cake and ever since I have been meaning to try out some different versions. I was given the perfect opportunity, when last week I was tidying up my cookery books and found this
recipe written, by my mother, on a brown paper bag. She agreed it was her writing but could not remember ever making it, so this morning as I had all the ingredients in the house I decided to see how a honey and carrot cake would turn out! I used a local honey and my flour came from Shipton Mill and most of the ingredients I used were organic.
The end result was a cake that was moist, spicey but not too sweet and this suited me and my mother. However I think for many an added topping would be a must!

Honey and Carrot Cake
Recipe: (1lb.Tin loaf)
1/2 (half) lb plain wholemeal flour
1 tablespoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon spice
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
4 oz marg or butter
4 oz sugar
4 oz honey
1/2 lb carrots (grated)
Put honey, sugar, marg in pan and melt.
Add dry ingredients mix
Add carrots last
Bake in oven 170c (60-80mins) (Mine took just less than an hour with lower temp 150 as I have a fan oven).
As you can see this is a very simple cake to make~ I couldn't believe how quickly I threw everything together...
Should anyone give this a go I would be interested to know what you think!
Angela who has the Lurchers, gave me the perfect award for Valentine's Day. I know I should have added it to my post on the day. Thank you very much Angela, you are the second person who has been kind enough to say they love my blog and in turn I will pass this on to Lisa because I love her photographs.
2007: Recycling

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Friday, February 15, 2008

Drugs in Sport....

I don't know about you but I feel very disappointed when ever I read about sport personalities taking performance enhancing drugs. There is now so much money in sport that I suppose the temptation must great. We all know that it went on in the Eastern Block countries long before the routine testing caught many of these cheats. Gradually in recent years a lot more sports, especially athletics have been tainted with drug taking and blood doping.

This week there has been a lot of controversy, here in the UK, about drug cheat Dwain Chambers who was given a two year worldwide ban from competing back in 2003. He has a lifetime ban from competing in the Olympics, however, amazingly he is being allowed to compete in the 60m indoor sprint at the World Indoor Championships in Spain next month.

This is a man who admits to taking a drug because he was arrogant enough to believe it would not be detected. When eventually caught after testing positive, he went on to say 'you can't win anything without taking drugs'! So why is he being allowed to compete, because of some stupid clause that says anyone who wins the trials has automatic qualification. Now I'm all for forgiveness and once someone has served his/her time...they should have the opportunity to put it behind them and start again. What I do find it hard to believe is that he should have changed his views about taking drugs and looking at a recent photo (he took the drug for some 18 months)...well I don't think I need to say more!
UKA are I understand looking for ways to exclude drug cheats in the future. What do you think? What message does this send to young athletes trying to make their way in a highly competitive sport?

While I'm on the topic of sport.........
you will have read that Hollywood film director Steven Spielberg has resigned as an artistic adviser to the 2008 Olympics in Beijing accusing China of not doing enough to pressure Sudan over Darfur (as reported by the BBC). I saw an interview with George Bush on the news last night and he seemed relaxed about attending the Olympics, emphasizing while he was there, he would not talk publicly about Beijing's policies and that Spielberg's decision was a personal matter. Why is that sport, music, films become a political arena........or am I burying my head in the sand!! I'd be interested in your views.

2007: All's well that ends well

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Thursday, February 14, 2008

Valentine Surprise!

I wasn't expecting to be writing a second post today!
However, when I arrived in front of my computer first thing this morning, I found a couple of little surprises that I want to share with you! The lovely little wooden heart is an ornament for the Christmas tree and the plate of goodies come from a Deli near where Embee works. Just look at the name of the Deli which is very apt for today!

I tried the biscuit (cookie) and it was flavoured with lavender. I have seen recipes using lavender in cooking but have never tried it myself, despite having a bush growing in the garden! So I now have some lovely treats for my coffee breaks for the next few days!!

Thank you Embee I know you will be reading this~ just one thing where did you hide the champagne!!

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Marmite and Champagne make a Happy Valentine !

To all Marmite lovers everywhere have a Happy Valentine's Day!

2007: Tomato Penne Bake and Dublin here I come

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Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Witty Wedneday # 37

Thank you Embee for this one!
To set the scene Gordon Brown is our Prime Minister but I think you could substitute any top politician's name!

Gordon Brown, whilst out on his morning walk to the top of Downing Street and back, suffered a major heart Attack, the Accident and Emergency Dept: at the Hospital were under — staffed and under equipped and had to transfer him to another Hospital out of London.

He died in the Ambulance whilst travelling there.

His Soul arrived in Heaven and was met by Saint Peter, "Welcome to Heaven but you have caused a dilemma, we do not know what to do with you as we do not get many Socialists calling here"

"No problem," replied Gordon, "I am a good Christian, just let me in"

"My Orders are from God himself and since the implementation of his new Heavenly Choices Edict, the policy is this, you have to spend a day in Hell and one day in Heaven, then you choose where you want to live for all eternity"

"I have already made up my mind, I wish to be in Heaven," firmly states Gordon.

"I am so sorry but rules are rules" says Peter as he escorts him down, down and down on an Elevator to the gloomy depths of Hell.…The Doors open and before him Gordon sees a wonderful expanse of lush green grass, a lovely Golf Course, a cloudless blue sky, a temperature of 23 Degrees C, in the distance a beautiful Club House, with Harold Wilson standing inside out of the heat, sipping a Tumbler puffing on his Pipe.

Everywhere Gorton's eyes roam he sees so many Socialist luminaries who have been known to him over the years, and by reputation even further back in time, Jim Callaghan runs up to greet him, followed by John Smith, Michael Foot etc: etc: They hugged him and welcomed him enthusiastically. All were deliriously happy and expensively dressed with awesome Golfing gear.

All enjoying the atmosphere and reminiscing about the good time they had on earth at the expenses of suckers and the peasants.

They dined on Champagne and Caviar after they had enjoyed several games of golf with below Par Scores. Later the Devil himself walked up and offered Gordon a large Tumbler of Tequila which Gordon declined because he had taken a Pledge of Abstinence "This is Hell Son, you can drink and eat all you want here, you never get drunk and never get fat" said the Devil.

The Devil tells him several funny jokes and introduces him to many well known characters from all over the world, all of whom hugged him and greeted him with warm smiles and firm hand shakes. They joked with him about Education, Immigration, Finance and Money, the EEC, Crime and the Labour Party miss — called ideals, plus all of their broken promises.

He was having a marvellous time and was saddened when he learned that his 24 hours were up and he had to go back up to Heaven.

When the Elevator Door opened and he was welcomed by St. Peter he learned that he had to spend the next 24 hours in the company of honest, good — nature and diligent people with high ideals who talked about lots of other things other than Politics and money and seemed to treat every one else decently and honestly. It was quite boring for him because he had never been used to anything like this in all of his adult life!

There were no nasty jokes, no swearing, no fancy Golf Clubs, no Caviar and Champagne, just good folks some poor, some well to do, but all kind and truthful, he just was not used to this at all.

He went up to St. Peter and informed him that he wanted to go back down to Hell, so he is taken to the Elevator and down he goes, down and down until the Doors open and he sees before him a scorched and sparse landscape, all covered with toxic filth and garbage, an industrial wasteland, looking eroded, and just like the Australian Outback, desolation every lace he looked, Rats, Rabbits and Foxes eating human bodies, together with other awful Scavengers.

There were his friends, dressed in tattered rags and all chained together like convicts, picking up rubbish and putting it in Plastic Bags. Moaning and groaning with pain, faces and hands filthy with dirt, grease and other filth. Gasping for water and rest. A sorry sight.

The Devil walks over to Gordon, he put down his blood stained whip, and put his fist his in to Gordons face and said "Welcome home, Brown".

"I do not understand it" stammered a shocked Gordon Brown "I was here yesterday and played golf, I ate like a King or President, we lazed around and drank Tequila, now everything is changed, it is all so different and disgusting, all look so unhappy"

Smiling and simpering slyly the Devil looks at him and purred "Yesterday was our campaigning day, today is different because you have cast your Vote for us!"
This one is from .......can you guess!!! John

I hope it wiggles for you

Ain't it the Truth!!!
A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical.
The nurse starts with certain basic items.
'How much do you weigh?' she asks.
'115,' she says.
The nurse puts her on the scale.
It turns out her weight is 140.

The nurse asks, 'Your height?'
'5 foot 8,' she says.
The nurse checks and sees that she only measures 5' 5'.

She then takes her blood pressure
And tells the woman it is very high.
'Of course it's high!' she screams,
'When I came in here I was tall and slender!
Now I'm short and fat!'

Flour and Water

How come when you mix water and flour together

you get glue?..
and then you add eggs

and sugar...
and you get cake?

Where did the glue go ?


You know darned well where it went!

That's what makes the cake
Stick to your BUTT

Now I hope that you've smiled at least once! We all need a good laugh, so keep on smiling!!

2007: I'm the proud owner of an Eggbeater T-shirt


Tuesday, February 12, 2008

I could have had pigeon pie!!

On Sunday as I was sitting here at the computer I suddenly heard a loud thud which sounded like something hitting the window in my mother's sitting room. I knew immediately what it was and my mother confirmed that she had seen a few feathers fluttering and there was a mark on the window. I went outside but couldn't see any evidence of the culprit!
However, when Embee went out later to do some weeding he found this poor little pigeon stone cold~ which was sort of sad. Why when they can be a nuisance~ well my mother said it's mate was flying around looking for it for the rest of the day!!

Oh, and I was only joking about the pie it didn't even enter my head!! Remember the time I tried this, and the time I had a visitor!! So although there are plenty of recipes to be found I won't be making a pigeon pie!!

2007: Why I love where I live


Monday, February 11, 2008

Fun Monday # 53

Crown Princess at ooh,a shinypen has set us this assignment...

Music plays a vital role in most of our lives. It is everywhere. I want to hear the ONE song that is you. The song that whenever it is heard, you smile. I am not looking for the soundtrack of your life, just that one song. Your friends hear it and think of you.

I found this really difficult and I have been playing with three draft posts over the weekend but then suddenly in the middle of the night I knew which song I was going to post. I haven't actually heard it for years I didn't know if it would be on 'you tube' but hey presto after some searching I found it. You will probably never have heard of it because it was a minor hit here in UK for a couple of weeks in the 80's. Back then I didn't know whether this would ever apply to me but I'm so glad it does! This one is for all the Grandma's everywhere as I'm sure it's how our grandchildren see us~ well I hope so anyway!

I'll be around to hear about your song later.
2007: Public Conveniences

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Sunday, February 10, 2008

Meme and Award

Cynthia over at 'Dahhhling I love you but give me Park Avenue'... has tagged me some of these I've done before as part of other memes so sorry if I repeat myself!!

4 Jobs I've Had:

Childminder~ I'm not sure if I ever mentioned I was once a childminder. In a way this was not a job I chose because I was rather begged to do it by a ward sister at the hospital where I had worked. She wanted to go back to work and as I was home my own daughter, who was a just under a year old, and I was very short of money, I agreed. There were no doubly buggies back then and it was hard work!

Mother~ this is the best job I have had. Although I had to work outside the home from the time my eldest daughter was 7 yrs old and youngest was 4 yrs old. Being a mother is the job I value most.

Daughter ~ have you ever thought how suddenly roles reverse I may no longer be caring for my children although sometimes I think that is not strictly true! I am however caring for my mother and this is almost like a nursing/domestic role as she relies heavily on me for many things.

You may not think being a wife to two husbands as a job. However when I married the first time I knew that I wanted to be at home for my children and create a warm homely environment for my husband to come home to (he was in the Merchant Navy). I was young and naive and although he was our world we were not his and we got dumped after seven years~ a very painful period in our lives and a sharp learning curve for me. I knew that I only had me to rely on and after 6 yrs back nursing I joined Social Services, did additional training and carved myself a career until I retired. I did marry again and have been looking after embee for nearly 30 yrs ~ he may not agree with this but he is not a new age man, however he does manage to do the garden and a few simple DIY jobs (he's out weeding the garden as I type and he fitted new security chains to two of our doors last week)!

4 Movies I've watched over and over:
I'm not that bothered about watching things over again but if they come on TV I do tend to watch...
Gone with the Wind
Dirty Dancing
Any of the classics such as Dickens, Bronte..oh, and romantic comedies who can forget 'When Harry met Sally'.

4 Places I Have Lived:
I have not moved very far in all my life:
I was born in Oxfordshire and when my father left the army after the war, my mother moved to Berkeley as in Glucestershire England not to be confused with the Calafornia one! We lived in a small cottage, then a shop when I was 8yrs, and at 16 my parents gave up their shop and bought a new house. At the age of 18yrs I left home and moved to Bristol where I lived in the Nurses Home for a couple of years. I have lived in and around Bristol ever since. Two flats, first house, then to my favourite house (a lovely four bed detached house), and from there we moved to current our Victorian house.

4 Shows I Watch:
These probably won't mean a lot to many of you!
Antiques Roadshow~ I love old things and seeing how much they are worth
Home and Away ( Aussie Soap)
Dancing on Ice (contest for celebrities who have a professional dance partner)
Primevil ( a sci fi not really that good but it fills a gap on a Saturday night)

4 Places I've Been: Can I cheat and give a few more!!!!!
West Indies~several of the islands~ that trip was one good thing from my first marriage!
Las Vegas~ Grand Canyon
San Francisco
New York
New England (lots of places here including Boston, Plymouth, Cape Cod just to name a few!)
Canada~ Toronto, Niagara

4 People Who E-mail Me Regularly:
Well firstly I get email comments from all my blogger friends which I really look forward to every day.
Embee sends me jokes from his work computer!!
My girls
Oh and all the spam which is usually filtered!

4 Favorite Things to Eat:
Being English I'm sure you would expect me to say:

Roast beef and Yorkshire pudding
Fish and Chips
Any pasta dish
Anything cooked by my daughters!!

4 Places I'd Rather Be:
I'd rather be visiting my children
Walking in the countryside
Living in a warm country near the sea where I could walk bare footed in soft clean sand~ heaven.
Sometimes I would even like to be back at work but I'm sure if I did go back I would then wish I was retired!

4 Things I Look Forward To This Year:
Holiday in Portugal with Beccy and family
Trips to Ireland to see Beccy and grandchildren.
A lovely warm summer without too much rain (well I can dream)
A year of peace and goodwill throughout the world!

Laurie has given me this yummy award which I have added to my gallery that can be accessed via my side bar. I love reading about the Laurie's dogs and seeing pictures that remind me of my dear departed Tamsie. So if you haven't met Laurie pop over and introduce yourself!

Now I always find Willowtree 'yummily funny' and I dread to think what he might do to this award but I'm sending it his way regardless! He'll probably ignore it as he's into other things!

2007: How not to treat your baskets

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